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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26501269">Slash and Burn</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/terma_archivist/pseuds/terma_archivist'>terma_archivist</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The X-Files</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Deliberate Badfic, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>1999-09-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>1999-09-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:21:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>825</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26501269</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/terma_archivist/pseuds/terma_archivist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bad spelling, bad grammar, bad characterisations, bad writing, typos, no plot, no beta, abuse of thesaurus and a random 'wrong' use of the spell checker. Baby!Mulder.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex Krycek/Fox Mulder, Fox Mulder/Other(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>TER/MA</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Slash and Burn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Note from alicettlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at <a href="https://fanlore.org/wiki/TER/MA">TER/MA</a> and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2019. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/collections/terma/profile">the TER/MA collection profile</a>.<br/>TER/MA September 1999 Challenge. It is time to have some fun.  This is one everybody is capable of doing, I think.  Even the best writers among us.  *g* So, we all read a lot of slash, right?  And we have all run across stories or mistakes so bad, we groan in misery and wonder what the hell the writer was thinking.  We all have little terms and pet peeves we hate to see in stories. Well this month's challenge is to write badfic.  I want to see stories that make me laugh they are so dreadful.  I want weeping manpoles, pendulous nutbags, winking puckered starfish of love, glistening bosoms...wait—that is the wrong genre.  If you mean you're, I want your.  Two,to and too can come and go at will.  Go find the worst mistakes you can , and write a story which includes them.  Whatever you do, DONT beta.  Write it at 5 in the morning after drinking 5 cups of expresso and not sleeping for 48 hours.  Or write it after having 18 shots of tequilla (or the poison of your choice). Whatever doesn't work for you.  Make it so dreadful, you can't read it without hanging your head in mock shame. And above all, have fun with it... --- OK, word of warning here.  These are really dreadful.  All are NC-17 for really bad taste.  If you looking for a good read, go elsewhere.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p><br/>
<b>Slash and Burn<br/>by Sonja  Blue</b> 
</p>
<p><br/> Holding an bunch of red roses, Krycek knocked at the door of Fox's apartment. After waiting a very very very very... long time and hearing lots of noise behind the door. The door was finally opened by a flustered Fox Mulder, who was wearing over his work clothes, except for his jackat, a frilly floral apron. "Ahhhhhh... Krycek!! I going to kill you!" Screamed the red faced burau boy.</p>
<p>"Fox baby, I brought you flowers," said Krycek as he thrust the thorny roses into Fox's face. "Your too early," continued the pretty Fox, his cheeks still slightly flushed with expiration and now pleeding from a few throny punture wounds. "The lasanga is no where ready yet—Oach!" Fox exclaimed as he took the roses from hunky Alex Krycek, gaining few more pokes on his soft hands from the roses.</p>
<p>"I just could not wait to see you, Fox baby," cried out the love sick badboy ratbastard. "It's been 1 day, 5 hours, 34 minutes and 45 seconds sinxe I last cuddled up to my adorable foxy babey." Krycek managed quite a nice pout, almost as endearing as the one now graceing the face of the miffed and snuggly Fox.</p>
<p>"Ok.. fine.. whatever. Come in then, check your arsenal at the door," pouted Fox as he made for the kitchen, igorning the clack and clinking at the door as his badboy lover relieved himself of all weapons, except for one which was permantly attached.</p>
<p>"Finally," muttered Krycek to himself as he releived himself of the 68th peice of weaponry from his clothing, knuckle busters. Krycek was very eager to go and join his foxy love muffin, grab ahold of his love handles and plow into the sweet dick-pinching interior. With a spring in his step, he was much lightner now, he bounced into the kitchen.</p>
<p>"Groan. " Krycek groaned at the alluring site that greeted him in the kitchen, a wiggling Fox Mulder ass. Fox had his back turned to Krycek as he was vigourasly stirring a sause for the lasagna over the stove. Krycek could not help himself, he immadantly lept onto Fox's back and started humping away like a mad and undesiplined randy dog humping away indiscrimatly at anything.
</p>
<p>"Yaaaaaaa!" Fox screamed, sounding remarkably like a high pitched girly scream. Krycek's randy humping had thrust Fox's hand directly into the flame on the gas stove. "My hand! My hand!" Fox continued to yell and screem. </p>
<p>"Fox! oh my poor dear huny bunny," exclaimed the cant rite Alex Krycke, "here let me kiss it better for you," he contiued as he bundled up the wimpering and sobbing bundle of joy into his arms. He then took the apron off Fox and then started to zip down the fly of his pants, then he wrapped his hand around Fox's limp prick. </p>
<p>"What are you doing, Alex!? It's not my dick that I burned, its my hand," whaled Fox as he waved around his very sore hand, smarting in pain.... alot of pain. Way too much pain to be able to enjoy have his now 'starting to get kind of hard' dick. Alex was now kissing and licking at his long swyzil stick. </p>
<p>"Yumm yum," said Alex, now sucking on the brussel sprout head of Fox's rampant and very long peice of meat, wrapping his tongue around it. "Oh oh oh, baby, I want your sweet big man meat thrusting into my love hole." Alex said with a full mouth. </p>
<p>"I think I should be putting my hand under cold water or putting ice on it," said Fox as he started to thrust his dick into Alex's mouth. "Alex, I really think you shold stop that... I think I have third degree burns here." Fox really was in pain, especially when Alex took ahold of his hairy balls with his hand and start to squeeze and fondle. Alex really should of cut his nails. "oh oh," contiued Fox as his nuggets drawed up tightly, almost right back into his adomin, Alex was now deep thraoting Fox's cock. His tight throut squeezing out an orgasim out of Fox, also a scream.
</p>
<p>Finally when Alex was finished licking up all of Fox's creamy and suger sweet love juice from his face and Fox's belly, he let Fox down gently down onto the floor. Fox was all over limp, and there a continus low tone whimpering coming from him. "Can you pleaaaase take me to an emergancy room now, " sobbed Fox, because he did have third degree burns. </p>
<p>THE END... relieved? 
</p>
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  <a id="notes" name="notes"></a>
</p>
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BADFIC: Slash &amp; Burn<br/>AUTHOR: Sonja Blue
<br/>ARCHIVE: TER/MA only! I better not see this atrocity anywhere else!
<br/>DATE: 4/9/99
<br/>DISCLAIMER: I don't own 'em. pout, pout, pout.
<br/>SUMMERY: Bad spelling, bad grammar, bad characterisations, bad writing, typos, no plot, no beta, abuse of thesaurus and a random 'wrong' use of the spell checker. Baby!Mulder.<p>NOTES: September TER/MA 'Badfic' challenge. </p>
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